You know you are an English major when...

Although I am a CASL English concentrator who has analyzed thousands of words throughout these college years, my experience here has been about numbers. This will be comical to my friends and family because I have a hard time counting without using my fingers. I have been in college for five years, at UM-Dearborn for four years, changed my major three times, became a student at two UM-Dearborn colleges, and one goal: to graduate. These numbers surround my life; however, I have always immersed myself into words. My mother is an avid reader, and since I was young, I have mimicked many of her habits, including reading. I am sure this story is familiar to other English concentrators who were reading before they were talking. Since English concentrators love telling and reading stories, I have created a list of a story many of us can agree on: You know you are a CASL English concentrator when…

Microsoft Word is automatically set up to type in Times New Roman and 12 point font.

Your non-English concentrator friends ask you for help with their essays.

You can find a grammatical mistake in almost any scenario you are in. (Billboards on the

freeway, brochures in the doctor’s office, other professors’ syllabi)

Non-English concentrator friend complains, “I have a five page paper to write!”

English concentrator rolls eyes and says, “I have to read a novel I just opened today and write a

ten page paper about it. Want to trade?”

You skip class in order to write an essay for another class.

You have never admitted that you read Fifty Shades of Grey.

The Purdue Owl is the Bible.

Stranger: “What is your major?”

English student: “English.”

Stranger: “What are you going to do with that?”

Your professor asks the class, “Who liked the story?” Everyone raises their hands.

Your superpower is finding incorrect uses of their, there, and they’re.

You have had a least one family member tell you that you are not going to find a job after graduation.

You know every trick on Microsoft Word to make your essay the exact minimum length requirement.

You wish you could have partied with Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald.

You have the best imagination because through literature you have imagined hundreds of places.

Your other superpower is speed-reading an assigned text 30 minutes before class.

You bring your laptop to class and actually use it to take notes instead of Facebook.

You roll your eyes at people who say they don’t like Shakespeare because “they don’t understand it.”

You own one (or more) book cases and fill them completely.

You spend the whole year creating your “Summer Reading List.”

You roll your eyes at people who say, “I don’t like to read.” (Because none of us have to read anything on a daily basis.)

You realize books will always be better than their movies no matter which story it is.

You probably own one piece of clothing that references your favorite novel. (I have a Pride &

Prejudice scarf)

You are a writer in your spare time or dream of having time to write in your spare time.

You use correct grammar in your text messages and emails.

You have mastered the art of reading multiple pieces of literature at once.

You realize being an English major is the best major because you get to do your favorite hobbies

of reading and writing on a daily basis. (And you get graded on them!)

I know not every CASL English concentrator will agree with all of these items, but if someone can relate to at least one, then I will be happy. All CASL students have their own unique stories to tell and I am glad I was given the opportunity to tell mine. No matter what your CASL major is, go out into the world and make your story heard.

Samantha Belcher is a UM-Dearborn alumna, class of 2016.